Becoming a first responder

Tonight Chris and I were laying down on our bed after putting the kids to bed-I kept asking him, "So what do YOU want to do tonight?" We joked and I said, "Take a nap? Sex? Do you wanna play cards? What about Monopoly?" He laughed and answered back, "Do we even have Monopoly?!" laughter-laughter-laughter-SILENCE... We've both been feeling the weight of the world and our LIFE on our backs. Three kids, work, school, never enough money it felt like...just the normal stuff. We don't break down often, we are actually quite positive about it all, but tonight it was me to cry and plead with God to HELP US in our journey, we are working so hard and I still often feel like we aren't going anywhere. Well I decided to say a prayer so laying there on the bed next to Chris I prayed. I prayed for everything. Our kids, our finances, keeping up with our household chores, etc etc. And in a still small voice, the first thought in my head after I said "amen." was "Have another baby." WHAT!!? This was not even on my radar not even a concern OR a possibility I THOUGHT at least. I started crying...bawling really..HOW IN THE BLEEP was this suppose to help our situation in the least? It's crazy! Irrational! But the thought wasn't my own. The thought came from God.... I then heard Ruby start to fuss, so I left and grabbed her from her crib and sat down in the recliner to rock her. Then I started sobbing. Chris came out right away and tried to talk me through my feelings. He too really doesn't want another child. That sounds mean, but what I mean is we just felt like we were starting a new part of our lives, one without the thought of "the next baby" popping up at least once a day. I asked him to say a prayer. I needed him to either feel what I did or be able to tell me to calm down and put the thought out of my mind. He prayed, he said the perfect things (he always does) he quoted the speakers in today's conference talks even..about "becoming first responders" & listening to that FIRST prompting we get (because it's often THE answer to our prayers). He admitted to me that he's never really had a set-in-stone feeling that "We are done having kids" and no matter how hard he's been telling himself we are, he has still felt unsure. I was ON FIRE during his entire prayer, sobbing and hugging sweet Ruby-having a feeling of surety that we have a little one waiting-he wants to be with our family and he wants to be born in the covenant. I felt his joy and excitement that we were feeling that too and coming around to the idea. That we know he's meant to come to our home. I could be wrong, maybe it's my little boy I miscarried that is happy about our change of heart or maybe our next baby really will be a boy? God knows-and he apparently has a VERY different (with I am sure MORE blessings than I could ever imagine) life in store for us...*gulp*

-Also the name Calvin popped into my head?!? Ummmmn never heard that name in my life-besides maybe "Calvin and Hobbes."